Thursday, September 13, 2012

Your Writing Makes You Sound Like You Have a Penis

'How is this possible?' you might ask, and rightly so.  Well, it would appear that my general personality and demeanor has officially proved what science (and my mother's doctors) could not: I am a dude.

At least, that's what some poor, confused soul out there would have his friend, chi-000, think.  Yes, I know it's confusing when ladies use things like wit and humor to convey their personality (What? Women have those?!), as well as expressing a general interest in intellectual 'Man-Things,' but if I were to challenge you to a pissing contest, sir, I would officially lose.
"So here I am looking at your profile, thinking, 'hmm... this girl seems cool', when my friend looks over and says that your profile was clearly written by a guy and is fake. He says it says all the right things and everything a guy would want to hear.

I obviously disagreed, said you were real and took your side, so we bet $20.

Am I gonna lose?"

This is the most backhanded compliment I have ever received in my life.  And what are you doing on OKC when your friend is over?  You two need better hobbies.  Thanks for taking my side, though.  Maybe you can just pay me the $20 for not only proving your friend false, chi-000, but also proving that you are an idiot who has no idea how to approach women.

I understand the internet is sketchy -- Ye GODS do I understand that one! -- but the best way to attract others is to represent yourself as truthfully as possible.  And this illustrates my main point: if you are going to falsify information, lie, or otherwise fib about who you are in order to attract a mate, your relationship will fail.  It's not you they're falling for; it's this made up version of you that must be meticulously maintained in order to keep the other person's interest.

Dating is already enough work with having to weed through all the shit to find something substantial.  Why not just make it easier and be yourself?  There's someone out there that will like you just for being you (as touchy-feely-fuzzy-cheesy as it sounds).

...and that's still not a guy,  just to make that clear.  In case the "pissing contest" reference didn't come off.

- N

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