Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Sorry I'm Not Sorry

I've been a casual online dater for about 2 years. It started as a drunken joke because I never had enough time to date...then I actually didn't have time to fit meeting other people into my 70 hour work week.
Now, in those two years I've seen a lot of things, a lot of different guys and ALOT of different messages. And so have my friends who have joined me in my Don Quixote quest to find someone to love (I'm sorry did I say love? I mean someone who isn't a total dick). Yes, I understand that as ladies trolling the internet we are expected to recieve some interesting messages, but c'mon. Here, my friends and I plan to entertain you with the creepy, weird, off-putting and strange messages we recieve on various dating sites and then some stories about the guys we went out with and who failed miserably.


Many of these guys come off as nice, sweet and easy-going dudes that we girls might want to date. And then there are the ones who send messages like this:

"Hi. One question. Are you a human being or just a bot the site created so guys would sign in?

Just kidding. My name is Juan Carlos. I didn't really know how to start a conversation, so this is what I came up with. How are you?"
 
One answer Juan Carlos: no I'm not a fucking robot. I don't know what to be more worried about, that he called me a robot or that he outright said he couldn't think of anything better to say. Dude, if you would have just said "Hi, how are you?" you had a chance of me replying. But calling a woman a robot is not sexy, not funny and not going to get you a date.
 
Nor is this message:
 
"If you're curious, message me back."
 
Sorry, "BigBen" I'm not curious. And I'm not sorry.
 
-C

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