There are a lot of things that bother me about dude's on the internet. It bother's me when they message you and simply say "Hey." Hey what? You might as well have just grunted or whistled at me like the creepos I pass on street. But one thing that bother me more that nothing to say is guys who think that by writing irritatingly-long messages that they can confuse me into finding them interesting. "Oh look how much he has to say! He must have a great personality and be super fascinating!" Lies. Commenting on virtually everything I've written in my profile is not fascinating - I already know how awesome and witty my profile is, I don't need to relive every sentence of it.
Bite me, Lenny.
Hi,
My name is Lenny and the good times should never stop here in beautiful California. Even the weather shouldn't stop you. Where there is a will, there is a way to be outside!
I am used to an outdoor voice. My dad's side of the family speak like they have a loudspeaker. My Aunt definitely takes the crown among them though. To top it all off, she is a "Giver" too (I'll let you figure that one out).
Now the next portion of his message references the section where I described a dinner party that I often dream of featuring Napoleon and Otto Von Bismarck. And "Lenny" obviously didn't pay attention in his European history class, else he would understand why his version of my dinner does not make any sense:
Last but not least, you need to invite two more people to your dinner party. Genghis Khan because he was literally crazy apeshit crazy maniacal crazy violent. Did I mention he was crazy violent. Also Flanders from the Simpsons, because someone needs to unite Napoleon, Bismark, and Genghis in tearing it up.
Oh and he's still not done
I lied, last but not least...College football is WAY better than pro ball. I confess I don't watch much football, but college is way more fun to watch because there are way more screw ups and are less predictable.
Shoot me an email. You sound like a lot of fun to hang out with.
Lenny
WHEN WILL THIS TORTURE END?
That Geico commercial is good, but the one with the piggy squealing with joy in the back of the car is even better. Weeeeeee Weeeeeee! I also can't ignore that one bank commercial where the banker gives one girl a toy pony and the other girl gets a real pony. LMAO.
Can someone just waterboard me already?!
Chicken is a staple of mine. I just hope you like it extra well done...because I am lousy at cooking...:( but no one is perfect right?
No, no one is perfect Lenny, but you are pretty damn far from it.
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